29 October 2010

Excuse the melodrama. For once in my life, I just want to be able to lean on somebody. To cry when something happens and just be held. I am always the strong one, the happy one. I like being happy. But it's unfair to just expect me to forget my own struggles to carry those of another.

And so, the tears fall silently. I choke back the sobs with a shudder. I pretend the sniffles are due to the weather.

Funny how a single day can start so long ago, and be... and be just... lovely. And then, you do something just a moment too long. A moment. That's all it takes. All it takes to send a small crack sliding through your life. To see something that would have kept til tomorrow just as well. Or over the weekend. Even better.

I think I need to go home. I need my mommy. And my dad. And to crack a few jokes with my brothers. Because I like being happy.

Happiness is:

cinnamon-sugary warmth.

wearing boots and a scarf on the first blustery cold, cloudy gray day.

I made peach cobbler from scratch without using a recipe. YAY ME. I've been craving cinnamon-sugar-something all week, and tonight, I could not resist the temptation.

"Recipe"

-A little flour, a little sugar, salt, cinnamon, crisco, water for the crust.

-Spread in a dish and bake at 350 until just before the edges start to get too brown.

-While that happens, open a can of peaches. Mix in cinnamon and flour. Cook in saucepan to thicken the syrup.

-Pull out crust layer, put peaches on top. Keep some of the syrup. Return to oven.

-Mix flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon, crisco, oatmeal for topping. Add the delicious, gooey peach syrup and make a tasty paste. Crumble over the other two layers.

-Bake until topping is crunchy, or until it smells so good you cannot help but take it out of the oven and dig in.

-Cooling time- absolutely not. This stuff is worth the sacrificial offering of a couple tastebuds.

Curse You Wild Cherry Pepsi!

1. Reference above statement.

2. If the meaning seems unclear, proceed to the following, mindless-middle-of-the-night rant:

Yep. That seems to be a proper sum-up. Not only is it daylight savings- meaning I lose an hour of sleep anyway, but the caffeine in that Pepsi is preventing me from completing a satisfactory night of slumber. Nevermind that I consciously pulled five quarters from my money jar and walked down the hall to the pop machine- Inconsequential details- that's all that is! As a result, I was on the receiving end of some very unhappy-woe-is-me news on Facebook.

wait. I partially retract my above statement. Now, I would like to attribute 50% of that curse elsewhere:

Curse you Facebook!

okay. better. I knew I should've given it up for Lent. I mean, I tried! I really did! But then, I forgot my cheese in a friend's room (sometimes I crave a block of cheese and go buy some from the pub...), and so, OF COURSE I had to write on her wall instead of merely sending her a text... of course.

and you know what?! I don't even like Pepsi! I much prefer Coca-Cola, but my college only has Pepsi. hmmph.

Where is my life?

When will it arrive?

I want

to feel alive

to feel the rays of sunrise on my face on a chill morning

to have an

unforgettable experience

even if that means I trip and fall

and exhibit my typical clumsy tendencies.

Is this greedy?

To want more,

and more.

I am a bundle of possibilities,

and I need it all.

But... I have a five page paper due in twelve hours,

so once again,

my dreams fall

by the wayside...

romantic notions put in a box

labelled- time capsule: to be opened... someday...

I will have time then.

Time to dream,

to believe,

to act,

to INSPIRE.

And this is why I hate Wal-Mart

I went with a friend last Saturday to get some things that we needed to decorate for Homecoming at my college. We walked by a stand that had a bunch of small desk lamps for a dollar. "Cool!" I thought, "I could use one of those." So I picked out a nice green one, and bought it.

The next day, I pulled it out of the box, and realized some assembly was required. So I put together what I could and went in seach of a Philip's screwdriver. When I found one and started using it, I realized that my lamp was obviously not meant for me to use. No, try as I might, I could not get the screw undone so I could connect the lamp to the base.

Now, I'm a pretty positive person, so I thought, "Okay, well, I can just put the bulb in and maybe figure out a way to use it until I meet some attractive, strong guy who can solve my problem." So, I pulled the light bulb out of the box and realized as I put it next to the socket on the lamp that there was no way it would fit.

I don't understand. I bought the bulb at Wal-Mart, after referencing the lamp-box to make sure I got the right thing.

Curse you, Wal-Mart. I did not get a dollar's worth of enjoyment out of my lamp yet.

A Campaign Against False Advertising: Day One

Thesis: In my opinion, if Life Savers are branded as such, they should actually perform some life-saving function.

I’m not talking about having bad breath and you pop in a Life Savers mint, and say, ‘Whew! That saved my life. I would have been so embarrassed having bad breath all day.’

Or better yet, giving one of the hard candies to a friend who is an incessant chatterer so they’ll stop talking. (By the way, that doesn’t work. The most dedicated of chatterers have an uncanny ability to talk and eat simultaneously.)

No. People’s lives survive bad breath and Chatty-Kathies. Maybe their hearing or self-esteem doesn't, but if that’s really what’s being saved, then maybe the mints should be called ‘Esteem Savers’ instead.

What I want is for Life Savers to protect me from a long and painful, or even sudden and unexpected death. If I jumped off a cliff (or am pushed), I want to be able to whip one out of my pocket, pop it into my mouth, and magically and inexplicably survive when I smash into the rocky valley two miles below. If I go sky-diving and my chute doesn’t open and the emergency latch is jammed, I can suck on a Life Saver and I am only a little shaken when I crash face first into the ocean.

It’s possible that you will confuse this with a Staples Easy Button. That is simply not true. Easy Buttons, if you will forgive me, are for slackers. ‘I don’t want to walk three feet to grab a stapler, so I’ll press this red button that doesn’t actually go to anything, and a stapler will appear right in front of me!’ The notion is ridiculous.

No, all I ask for is a little sweet treat that will save me from an untimely demise. Now, that would be a marketing dream for any Life Savers employee.

It would also go over better with the consumer instead of continuing to falsely advertise the candy, no matter how delicious.

Fleeting Disappointment

Last week I cleaned out the staff office in my residence hall. It was so cluttered and messy... there were piles of stuff here and stacks of things there. It was nonsense. For example, one of the stacks engulfed about half of the office, and it had nothing in it but outdated phonebooks.

Since I am somewhat environmentally conscious, I decided to recycle all of the phonebooks instead of throwing them in the trash.

So, I loaded 70-odd phonebooks into a barrow thingy and wheeled them onto the elevator and down to the end of the hallway on First East. I ran out the door and down some steps to the recycling dumpster. I propped the lid open on the top so that I could just stand at the door and chuck the books into the bin without going down the steps every time.

Next, I made several trips from the barrow inside, down a flight of stairs and out the door, where I lofted as many phonebooks as I could manage through the air into the dumpster.

Now, I'm sad that all of them are gone because I just saw this YouTube video on how to rip a phonebook, but I have nothing left to practice on.