Where is my life?

When will it arrive?

I want

to feel alive

to feel the rays of sunrise on my face on a chill morning

to have an

unforgettable experience

even if that means I trip and fall

and exhibit my typical clumsy tendencies.

Is this greedy?

To want more,

and more.

I am a bundle of possibilities,

and I need it all.

But... I have a five page paper due in twelve hours,

so once again,

my dreams fall

by the wayside...

romantic notions put in a box

labelled- time capsule: to be opened... someday...

I will have time then.

Time to dream,

to believe,

to act,

to INSPIRE.

And this is why I hate Wal-Mart

I went with a friend last Saturday to get some things that we needed to decorate for Homecoming at my college. We walked by a stand that had a bunch of small desk lamps for a dollar. "Cool!" I thought, "I could use one of those." So I picked out a nice green one, and bought it.

The next day, I pulled it out of the box, and realized some assembly was required. So I put together what I could and went in seach of a Philip's screwdriver. When I found one and started using it, I realized that my lamp was obviously not meant for me to use. No, try as I might, I could not get the screw undone so I could connect the lamp to the base.

Now, I'm a pretty positive person, so I thought, "Okay, well, I can just put the bulb in and maybe figure out a way to use it until I meet some attractive, strong guy who can solve my problem." So, I pulled the light bulb out of the box and realized as I put it next to the socket on the lamp that there was no way it would fit.

I don't understand. I bought the bulb at Wal-Mart, after referencing the lamp-box to make sure I got the right thing.

Curse you, Wal-Mart. I did not get a dollar's worth of enjoyment out of my lamp yet.

A Campaign Against False Advertising: Day One

Thesis: In my opinion, if Life Savers are branded as such, they should actually perform some life-saving function.

I’m not talking about having bad breath and you pop in a Life Savers mint, and say, ‘Whew! That saved my life. I would have been so embarrassed having bad breath all day.’

Or better yet, giving one of the hard candies to a friend who is an incessant chatterer so they’ll stop talking. (By the way, that doesn’t work. The most dedicated of chatterers have an uncanny ability to talk and eat simultaneously.)

No. People’s lives survive bad breath and Chatty-Kathies. Maybe their hearing or self-esteem doesn't, but if that’s really what’s being saved, then maybe the mints should be called ‘Esteem Savers’ instead.

What I want is for Life Savers to protect me from a long and painful, or even sudden and unexpected death. If I jumped off a cliff (or am pushed), I want to be able to whip one out of my pocket, pop it into my mouth, and magically and inexplicably survive when I smash into the rocky valley two miles below. If I go sky-diving and my chute doesn’t open and the emergency latch is jammed, I can suck on a Life Saver and I am only a little shaken when I crash face first into the ocean.

It’s possible that you will confuse this with a Staples Easy Button. That is simply not true. Easy Buttons, if you will forgive me, are for slackers. ‘I don’t want to walk three feet to grab a stapler, so I’ll press this red button that doesn’t actually go to anything, and a stapler will appear right in front of me!’ The notion is ridiculous.

No, all I ask for is a little sweet treat that will save me from an untimely demise. Now, that would be a marketing dream for any Life Savers employee.

It would also go over better with the consumer instead of continuing to falsely advertise the candy, no matter how delicious.

Fleeting Disappointment

Last week I cleaned out the staff office in my residence hall. It was so cluttered and messy... there were piles of stuff here and stacks of things there. It was nonsense. For example, one of the stacks engulfed about half of the office, and it had nothing in it but outdated phonebooks.

Since I am somewhat environmentally conscious, I decided to recycle all of the phonebooks instead of throwing them in the trash.

So, I loaded 70-odd phonebooks into a barrow thingy and wheeled them onto the elevator and down to the end of the hallway on First East. I ran out the door and down some steps to the recycling dumpster. I propped the lid open on the top so that I could just stand at the door and chuck the books into the bin without going down the steps every time.

Next, I made several trips from the barrow inside, down a flight of stairs and out the door, where I lofted as many phonebooks as I could manage through the air into the dumpster.

Now, I'm sad that all of them are gone because I just saw this YouTube video on how to rip a phonebook, but I have nothing left to practice on.

Fact of the Day...

So I was sitting on my LoveSac (if you don't know what that is, I'm very sorry), and I was stretching my legs out, and my foot touched something super-nasty. It was wet and cold and completely undesirable to have anywhere near my appendages. Can you guess what it was?

An apple.

That's right- about two hours ago I ate an apple before sitting down to do work on a paper. I didn't feel like moving four feet to the trash, so I just set the core on the ground.

Surprise! Eaten apples cores are mildly disgusting.

A Terrible... Awful, Frightening, Daunting... SECRET.

Today is Wednesday. Actually... no. It's Thursday. Great. I'm glad Wednesday is over, because it was definitely a stressful day. Why?

Because I kind of pretty much decided that I'm not going to go out for swimming this year. I've been on the verge of a ultra-spastic freakout breakdown ever since I realized this. Why?

I've been in the water since I was born. I started organized swim lessons when I was 3. I began swimming competitively when I was seven. I swam for summer rec leagues, for the Y, for a club team, on a varsity team all four years of high school, for countless clinics and private lessons and finally for one year on a college varsity team. I've done million of crunches and hundreds of thousands of reps on a weight stack. I can't begin to list all the miles I've run or the calories I've counted and protein shakes I've chugged.

And that's it? I mean, yes, swimming is something I can always do for myself. It's not something I have to be on a team to accomplish. But to turn away from something that is such an integral part of my being? I'm hyperventilating at just the thought. And if mere contemplation is enough to make me lose any semblance of reservation, then there's no way I can just... tell... anybody.

Which is why I've come to you, my humble blog. You, who will accept me regardless of what I durst or durst not commit to. I haven't told my coach, nor my best friend (and fellow swim mate). 1. I don't know how. 2. What am I going to do with myself when I am no longer a swimmer?

I think I'm going to cry.

Who am I?

That, my dear, is the question for a lifetime. And perhaps, just perhaps, the answer does not lie beneath a million gallons of water.

So I have this really annoying Band-Aid on my finger...

and I can't do a blessed thing without mucking it up or having it get in the way of whatever I'm trying to do.

Fascinating, right? I know.

I moved back into my dorm today, and this stupid bandage creates immense problems in the natural process of unpacking and rearranging my possessions. And that's in addition to the showering, shampooing, lotioning, hair-gelling and dressing that I have to do anyway.

But if I take it off, I bleed on everything.

Since there is no one at school for me to gripe to yet, I'll have to make do with a shout out on my unassuming nook of the blogosphere.

Thank you for your time.

Need a little sparkle for your day?

It adds rainbows and unicorns to whatever page you have open in your browser.

Click that button. Do it.

Again and again.

Insta-cheer, vegetable style.

[?]

How do you comfort someone when that's not even what they need? How do you look at your younger brother and tell him everything will be okay. Is there a way to say 'It's time to move on. I'm sorry your classmate and teammate killed himself, but these things happen.' 

These. Things. Happen.

A bit insensitive, right? -But how long is TOO long to grieve when suicide becomes epidemic? Since the morning my brother discovered the boy he knew was dead, there've been 3 more incidences. Three.

Total= Four. 

In a week. 

And it's easy to say even that's not so bad- until you discover the most recent is another boy. One you've known your whole life. A man, actually. A man with three sisters- and you once played with two of them sometimes when you visited your grandmother. And you went to bible school with these girls. 

And you saw the whole family in church every Sunday, sitting two pews ahead and a little to the left. And maybe, just maybe, you once had a little crush on this boy. Just because he was nice, and even though he was your friend's big brother, you envied the way he protected her. The way he teased her. 

And you wanted a little part of that for yourself.

But now he's gone. You knew that suicide, like the curse that it is, tends to spread. People hear of someone, a person, doing this terrible thing, and they maybe think, 'That's so easy. I just can't handle my life anymore. I'll do the same thing, and it's over. No more worries.'

Yes, you knew all of that. But you didn't expect it to hit so close to home. 

Okay, a 20-something from Dyersville. Oh Lord, how awful. The 19 year old who graduated from the high school down the street? Yes, you recognize the name, and sure, the picture in his obituary makes him seem such a sweet boy.

But it's not the same. And then you drive to your grandmother's house because you forgot something there. Shampoo. How trite.

And you drive past the house. An average suburban two-story. Yellow siding with burnt sienna shutters. Brown shingles. A low-cute hedge across the front. The basketball hoop in the driveway.

In the driveway that is now filled with cars, minivans and trucks. People going in and out. Comforting the family whose hearts are crushed, worlds smashed.

You wonder if they still own the rat. Has it died too? The world is coming down around you.

Memories, worries, everything circles round and round your head. You sit down to write it out before your brain explodes. And then you realize something. You are just as much of a mess as you fear your brother is.

And you wonder: How am I supposed to strong for him if I can't handle it myself?

Life keeps going, and it carries you, too. But it doesn't seem to care if you're being carried by the ankles with your head bouncing on the floor. So it's going to hurt for a while.

But, you know, since everything is backwards anyway, maybe instead of your head bouncing a little less each time until it drags, it'll bounce higher. And higher. Until your head is on top and your feet are down, and you can grab life with your hands. Cause that's how it's supposed to be.

39 days and some Qualifications.

Lent started yesterday. Merrrrrr. And that's how I feel about that.

1. I gave up Facebook.

2. I gave up dessert.

3. I gave up unhealthy snacks.

4. I'm going to be a super-fabulous wonderfully awesome person.

(5.) I should probably not procrastinate anymore.

But, that is a ridiculously long list. However, I have not yet checked my Facebook, so I get some Kudos.

I did eat dessert last night, but I told myself before Lent technically began that I would, because it was a cake that I made for a friend and I wanted some. So, I guess that was okay.

I am also a chronic gum chewer, so I am going to wean myself off of that after I don't need it to avoid snacking.

My true test in the desserts came this afternoon at lunch. About once every week or so, the caf workers put out these incredible chocolate chip cookies with rainbow bits in them. And, they're relatively miniscule, so I always take a few... Well, those were out today at lunch, I actually walked up to them, but then I just took an apple instead, so it looked like that was my true purpose. (It wasn't...the cookies were calling to me. I thought, [for real, seriously] that I was going to cry just a few tiny little tears. It was quite distressing.) But, no cookies.

I was super excited that I resisted the temptation, so I texted my friend...cause she doesn't think I can go 40 days... I was all smug like 'Yeah...I guess I really do have strength of mind,' (or something like that)...and she said: "You'll be fine! Your mind is stronger than your stomach."

So, I locked that message on my phone so I can't delete it. Just in case I need emergency support sometime soon. Like tonight after dinner. I also got another friend's phone number, and she said she would talk me through my Facebook withdrawl.

I'm not crazy, I swear, I just don't want to screw this up. I am going to become a controlled person. (We'll see how I feel about that in a few days, though.)

The [Fat] Part of Fat Tuesday

Today was my friend's birthday. So I made her a cake. Which meant I sampled icing almost nonstop the entire time I spent decorating... I might puke later. But, the cake finished quite well, so I suppose it was worth it.

It's Mardi Gras today, hence the mask and 'beads,' as well as the purple, gold and green.

Swirly stuff on the sides. I was a wee bit disappointed at how terribly my writing turned out- I think I tried writing too big,

Yay! The mask! White cake, vanilla buttercream frosting (yummy!)

I thought this looked...artsy.

I was doing this in my dorm, and some girls walked by, and I guess decorating cakes is pretty cool... so they're going to pay me to make a couple for a party they're having. 

Rabelais was a Fabulous Guy

We had to read Gargantua for my French Lit. class... fascinating. And, amid all the fart jokes and uncouth remarks, there are some little gems of knowledge, which I will impart upon you in list form (I've been making lists all day...dky, so may as well continue.).

1. Friggle Fraggle - nonsensical stories told by a drunk person

2. If your husband dies, you've got about two months to play around and sleep it up because after 11 months, your child is completely illegitimate.

3. Tripes are intestines. Basically, when you eat tripes, you're eating crap. Rabelais thought that was really funny.

4. Question of the hour: Do you wet yourself to get dry, or do you dry yourself to get wet?

5. Drinking leads to divinity; it is the great equalizer. Monks drink. Kings drink. Peasants drink.

6. Gargantua's birth led to the rebirth of textuality and created a more intertextual community.

7. Guys shouldn't put their junk in a box. In fact, the complete opposite should occur, so goodness and light have the opportunity to spew forth.

8. Humanism is bad.

9. Literature can either be read incorrectly or correctly. To do it right, you must be initiated. How do you become initiated? -Get drunk. Truth is found in drunkenness.

An Ode to Slumber

Sleeping. 

  (Dreaming.)

Cuddling cozy. 

Warm and drowsy. 

  Slipping sliding 

away from consciousness, 

into the blissful unknown.

_ _

                              O <(z.z..z...z....)

Please direct your complaints to...

Technology is stupid. I somehow accidentally pushed the lock button on my phone and couldn't get the darn thing unlocked. Then, I went to check my AOL mail, and it wouldn't work. I logged in at least three times, but everytime I tried to read a message, a little box popped up saying, 'your login is not current.' And it redirected me to the login screen.

Also, I get too sidetracked on the internet if it's late at night and I'm trying to do homework, especially if I've forgotten to take my little blue pill that day.

Looks Like We're Going to Make It...

I was so frustrated with winter today that I wouldn't even wear my coat. I'm done. I just can't take it anymore. Then I read the forecast, and evidently we're supposed to get four inches later this week. So that means tomorrow or Saturday. 

When I left choir at 1:30 this afternoon, I was coughing all nasty, and so then I was trying to breathe (that whole, 'in through your nose, out through your mouth,' thing) and I realized that the air smelled like a soccer pitch. It was that mix of mud and grass and fresh air that you get on Saturday morning matches in November, or on muggy, humid days in April. If it wasn't for the cold and the wet and the ice and the snow...and so on... I would have liked to just stay out for a while, just breathing that in.

I felt like it was so good for me- but it makes me miss spring and summer that much more. How many days are left?

A Summation of Today's Pleasantries

Because I'm still trying to procrastinate on all of my schoolwork...but I'm desperately trying to avoid getting absorbed in reading my book again (Else I'll be up until 4:30 am, like I was last night), I decided to give a sum up of my day (*Cries of distress from the audience* - "No! Not another sum-up!). Well, my dearest honey-bunches, another sum-up it is. I pledge to do my best to make it more interesting than the last one. That shouldn't be too difficult, since swimming is over...

1. The book. I am reading The Black Dahlia by James Ellroy at the moment. Well, not at this exact moment...but in the general time frame of earlier this morning. It's super-fab. I think it's a little ...ironic... that I absolutely will not watch scary movies, but I love mysteries and murder novels and all of that.

 

2. The clock. I almost just took my roommate's alarm clock from her hands about two seconds ago and threw it out the window. Almost. The thing speaks human-speak. It's beyond annoying. No person who is all there upstairs should wake up to a fake person saying 'Good Morning, it is 7:30. Good Morning, it is 7:30. Good Morning, it is....'

3. The shoes. I bought a new pair of running shoes a couple weeks ago when they were discounted and I was waiting for swimming to be over so I could go work out in them. They are, in a word, beautiful. Seriously, go look at the pic on the website. Look at the 360˚ view too, that's pretty sweet. They are the Brooks Adrenaline ASR 5 model. It's an on-road, off-road hybrid that is weatherized. The  upper is water-resistant. The outsole is more rugged and has better traction thingies on the bottom so I won't trip and slip as easily. Basically the only way my foot's gonna get wet in this thing is if I jump in a freaking puddle, 'cause the tongue deal isn't gusseted to the rest of the shoe. Because it's sealed all around, my feet get a lot warmer, and I suppose that could mean more friction and stuff which means more blisters. But I'm not really an expert on that sort of thing, and the scar tissue on my feet is heavy enough from previous blisters, that I don't really worry about that anymore.

And, it's pretty.

4. The chocolate. Darci and Aly stopped at Hy-Vee 'cause Aly wanted Rainbow Cookies, so I asked Darci to pick me up a bag of Dove. Yum Yum Yum. I will have to write a post about the benefits of eating Dove tomorrow, because I learned many important life lessons tonight.

5. The t.v. I spent a while watching HGTV, which was fascinating. House buying and all that. But, actually I love interior decorating stuff and architecture, so I did enjoy it. The highlight of my vegetative state this evening was Nip/Tuck. Christian went and proposed to Lizzie, but didn't tell her his cancer was back. That created drama. Sean and Teddie slept together in a house that belonged to neither of them. That created drama. The patient of the show had cutaneous warts all over his body- it was like he was growing nasty gray tentacles off his legs and arms. That was also dramatic. There was more botox-baby drama. It was a good time.

6. The cookies. They had the good cookies at the caf. today. They are super-soft and delicious, and they have little rainbow chips in them. I won't tell you how many I take, but it's a rather large number. They make me happy. Then, as I was sitting and pondering the wisdom of the Dove foil wrappers, some girls from InterVarsity came to my room and forced me to take more cookies. I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted, of course. Hooray for manners. I guess it's a good thing I worked out with Darci today.

7. The workout. Darci and I went in and started with 30 minutes of cardio. followed by lifting and abs. Except we got super-bored and only ended up doing 20 minutes of cardio. There were a lot of people in the weight room, and they kept staring at us. We have no idea why. But...there were cute guys lifting, so it wasn't really that troubling to us...

8. The breadsticks. Yum. Delicious. Dinner.

9. The interview. Probably the highlight of my day. I loved hearing Sarah tell me about her travels, and it was nice to find out that I'm not really a boring person...

So, all in all, I had a pretty pleasant day. Except for my psych. test. But that's not really the sort of thing I stress about, so the end result is sublime.

Experience and Guidance

For my journalism workshop we had to interview another student so we can write a profile on them. The girl I interviewed lived across the hall from me in my res. hall last semester, so I knew her, but not much about her. We probably spent an hour talking to each other, and it was fascinating! It is so motivating to reveal something personal about yourself to a person and have them affirm and encourage you. Honestly, I don't think anybody but Darci knows I keep a dream journal. And others tell me I'm a good artist, but it was just different having Sarah encourage me to pursue that particular talent.
And I loved hearing about her travel experience. I feel quite lucky to have interviewed her- I'm going to enjoy writing the profile. She also gave me some good Twitter tips. She's an ENFJ personality type, which of course made me go straightaway and find an online personality test. My result: ENFP. Translation: Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving. Basically, I am "charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individual with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. I have many gifts which I will use to fulfill myself and those near me, if I am able to remain centered and master the ability of following through." All that is according to this description, of course. And it could all change tomorrow.

But I suppose it is a pretty good fit...

I was thinking about the whole art thing though... Would it seem too pretentious if I scanned some of the artwork I've done and posted the photos up here? Just a thought... We'll see.

Sum Up (A Continuation...)

Sorry I cut off so quickly last time. Since swimming is over (finally! :,(...), I went out with some of the swim girls. It was fabulous, except I didn't get in until 4:30 this morning. At least I didn't wake up with a headache...that's something at least. I'm not sure if we're doing it again tonight or not- not everybody could have fun like we did last night.

So, my 50 free. I was first alternate. Someone in my heat false started, so we had to get out and do it again. It was kind of hard because I didn't have enough time to fix my breathing before the restart.

I split a 26-high on the 200 free relay. The 400 medley at prelims was good because my 100 breaststroke time finally came down to a 1:16. Then, later that night I split a 1:14, which was postively thrilling. I was disappointed on my 100 breast on Friday because I swam a 1:16 both times, and I really really wanted that 1:14 again. But, I made the championship heat for finals, so that was awesome anyway. My second turn was horrid though, so I lost all of my momentum going into the second 50.

Prelims for my 200 breast were terrible. I couldn't breathe at all, and my lungs felt like they were on a hook that was weighed down to the bottom of the pool. I gained a second on my seed time. Somehow, I made the consols heat for finals though. I was seeded 11th, and I moved up to 10th 'cause I dropped six (six!) seconds from prelims. That's not really any great shake, but I was really nervous that I would choke...

So. My goal for next year is to make the championship heat for my 200 breaststroke. Now that I have it on record, well, it's a lot easier to actually keep it in mind.

So that's the meet.

(Actually, I've omitted the 400 free relay. But I don't really want to talk about my end of it...Darci and Anya and Ainslee all swam incredibly though!)

I'm Still a Rock Star...

So...I give up on that whole '25 Things' deal. It's just a little too much structure for me. That's all. And I'm absolutely exhausted, so I just wanna...be.... (That makes NO sense at all.) My excuse is that I have had pneumonia, asthma attacks and three days of a championship swim meet since farther back than my memory goes...

Do you want a sum-up of the meet? (Haha...that reminds me of the movie 'The Princess Bride,' when Inigo is going to tell Westley about what happened while he was mostly dead, and then he's like 'No, there is too much. I will sum up...) Wow- I'm quoting movies...

So, I made finals on all my events except my 50 free, for which I was the first alternate.

okey dokey...I will finish the sum up later. I'm going out.

Cheers.

252525.3

Blah blah blah...you know the drill. Just trying to get this over with. I guess if I really don't want to do it, then I don't have to. I'm just being a baby. And wondering if it's really worth all the effort. But, I have the conference swim meet for the next three days, and I'll let you in on a little secret... i'm scared. real scared. everybody always thinks i don't get nervous, and usually, i don't! but this is different. this is BIG. I'm scared cause I don't know what will happen, which typically is awesome for me...i just. don't. know. So, distractions are good!

8. 25 is kind of a big number for me. I don't think I am that interesting or random. -Yeh, so basically, this one was a cop-out, I admit it. And it's kind of funny, because since then, I've thought of a million things I could've put. But now, I can't remember a blessed one. Strange how that works...

9. My favorite numbers are 518, 69, 7 and 17. -So, 5/18 is my birthday. It's always been one of those numbers that I notice everywhere. It was really bad last year- I think 'cause it was my golden birthday year last year. 69 is 'cause I've got a dirty mind sometimes...'that's what she said,' and all that. Except I don't normally say 'that's what she said,' it's more like snickers, guffaws and jocularity. And snide remarks. And prolonging the conversation. Yep, it's terrible. I'm incorrigible. Now that we all know... I don't really know why I like 7 and 17. They just always seemed like power numbers to me. Actually, I like 7 because I lived in my second favorite house until I was seven, and then moved to my favorite during the time I was seven. (Is that complicated enough for you?)

10. I can say the alphabet backwards really fast. -zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba. My record: sophomore year at an xc meet, Abby Burgason timed me. Less than 3 seconds. That's right. I rock. You can all kiss my feet and stuff (but I would much rather have you do something a little more interesting and meaningful.).

Merrr...it is late. I am tired. So sorry to cut this short, I know it's fascinating (zzzzz...).

Gotta swim meet tomorrow. (I already said that...) Dear Lord, please just let me not die. 

The End.

Love,

Amanda

252525.2

Well, I guess I'll just get right down to it then, alright? Gotta get this over with...

6. My dream is to quit school, hitchhike to California and live in a little hut of driftwood on the beach. I will ride dolphins, which do not require gasoline. I will catch fish with my bare hands and cook them in a fire pit in the sand. I will also wear seaweed clothes, so I won't have to do laundry. If it's winter (like right now), I'll go to Florida instead, so it gets warmer as I go. And if I'm in Florida, I can wrestle gators like Steve Irwin. -So that one is pretty self-explanatory.

7. The only problem with number 6 is that I don't like fish. Except tuna. -I can eat tuna plain, straight from the can. And I'm a tuna snob- only Chicken of the Sea-Albacore for me, please! As for other seafood- blecch! (That is the sound of me, retching...) I had calamari once...and then I found out what it was. Yes, I'm picky. It's not all my fault though, my mother made me eat a bit of salmon loaf when I was younger. She made up the recipe, which is typically a great thing, but in this case- ehh, not so much.

yeh...mmm...fail at the whole '5 installments' deal. too tired. watching nip/tuck. have to focus on that. apologies.

love,

Amanda

252525

Yeh, so I did cave in and write one of those '25 Random Things' deals on Facebook. But I was kind of thinking about my things, and came to realize they're actually pretty shallow compared to others that I've read. So, I'm doing a rewrite, but without tagging anyone. Maybe 'cause these are really real to me instead of just random stuff- I feel like I'm revealing more of myself. And that's not always easy to do, you know? Anyway...enough rambling. Forward march. Actually, what I'm going to do is add more depth to the things I've already put on that note- because I did have a reason for choosing each of them.

1. I rock at falling asleep. -I have three younger brothers. When we were little, they would get up VERY early on Saturday mornings and run through the house, screaming like banshees. Occasionally, they would barge through my room while performing said activity. So, I've learned to shut things out and relax myself so I can just dream. The only things that wake me up are people saying my name or tickling my feet. (Warning: I react violently to the tickling)

-On a side note, I am also incredibly grumpy when I wake up. So beware.

2. I don't wear my retainers. -I had braces for almost three years. I finally got them off and received a purple bottom retainer and a rainbow top one.  I didn't like to wear them during the day because they made me lisp. I didn't like wearing them at night because spit got in them and it was just gross. I don't like wearing them now because they no longer fit on my teeth.

So I stuck them in the back of a drawer in my bathroom at home, which may or may not be where they are now.

3. I hate (hatehatehate) laundry. I hate it! -I don't know what it is, but I cannot stand taking all of my stuff to the laundry room, shoving it in a washer, switching it to a dryer, folding it and putting it away. I won't separate my darks from lights and reds from other stuff. I couldn't care less. I will leave my clean clothes in a basket and wear them, one item at a time, until there are only two pair of underwear left, at which time I will put them away, because it is no longer so offensive to me. In the event that I am unable to leave my basket out for the amount of time necessary to wear all the clothing, I just shove the clothing where it fits.

4. I like green jello and raspberry jello. I like the way it squishes in my teeth. -My earliest jello memory is from when I was around seven. I have this friend, Alex, and his sister Katie, who now live in Texas. Anyway, we were at their grandparents' home, and there were Jello Jigglers on a pan on the kitchen table. And we were seeing how many we could fit in our mouths. That was also my first encounter with one of those Clapper lamps.

When I got sick as a child, my mom would mix up a packet of Jello and let me drink some of the liquid- I've always remembered that.

5. I don't like it when different foods touch. If they are going to touch, I have to mix them all together. -When I was in middle school, I was at a family party at my grandaunt and uncle's home. I had the stomach flu, and had been pretty ill. I was getting food on one of those styrofoam plates and it broke and went all on the floor. Seeing all of it like that made me sick. But if I know I have too much on my plate for it not to touch, I just mix it all up right away, and then it doesn't bother me. Weird.

Okay...so this is kinda sorta quite long. And I have class in 15 minutes, so we'll just do this in installments of 5. Fabulous.

V-Day Horrors.

Made these today at my grandmother's home. Kind of a tradition~ we decorate Valentine's Cookies every year. But we did change it a bit this year...

1. We still used a regular short cookie. Not a lot of sugar (That's what the frosting's for!)

2. The white frosting is a regular butter-vanilla frosting (mmm...my favorite).
3. The red icing, however, is a recipe from the American Heart Association. It doesn't use any shortening, so it won't clog your arteries. Cheers. It was surprisingly tasty- we added a few drops of Almond oil to add a little *P-I*z-z*A-Z*...You can add peppermint oil as well- we did that on chocolate cookies at Christmas. (I've been looking for the online recipe to this, so if I find it, I will post it.)
There are about 15 more that I don't have photos of yet. That's 'cause I actually personalized them as Valentines, and I don't want anything to happen to them, so my grandmother's going to bring them to me in a few days.
I always forget how tiring decoration is. Maybe it's because I've got this pneumonia, but I was absolutely exhausted. I still am, but I have a bio exam tomorrow, so I have to study. Which I'm not doing, so I might as well be sleeping...

Anyway, I was quite pleased with how the cookies turned out. And you can be proud of me- I didn't eat ANY while I was working on them. That can be a challenge whenever I'm doing cookies or cakes- mostly because I love my grandmother's frosting. When I was just a little one, I would sneak down to the fridge in her basement and eat the frosting.

"I'm a Rainbow Today" -Kira Willey

I love that song. It's the one from the Dell commericial, you know? '...I am green today, I chirp with joy like a cricket's song...' And right now, I'm listening to 'Song In My Head,' by Sherwood. 

Don't blink, don't close your eyes, and most of all, don't apologize. It's me who's got the demons to wrestle now. There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky, a memory of a brighter time, when everything was less watered down. Before the summer turned to brown.

 oh. yeah, the link in the title goes to the page for Kira Willey's cd. It's a compilation of songs for children's yoga. You can stream most of the songs on the cd. The 'Caterpillar, Caterpillar' song is super-cute. Just saying.

...what else have I been listening to lately...I love music, so I listen to a wide variety of everything. I've been exploring a lot of alternative rock lately. It stinks though, 'cause I don't have any iTunes money, so I can't buy music. So, I've been going through all of my old stuff.

I wish I had my Simon and Garfunkel cd still. That is my all-time ALL-TIME Favorite. Forever. I was listening to it in my car last April when I was in a car accident and totaled my car. When my dad cleaned it out, he didn't check the cd player. So it's all gone...and somehow, it never got on my computer, though I have it on my iPod (Which is broken right now...so That's not doing me any good...)

Currently, my fave group is We the Kings. They are having a concert in Des Moines on the 28th that I will be attending. I am SO Excited! And on Sunday, Cute is What We Aim For is coming to Coe, so I get to see them too! What luck!

I think the two groups are kind of similar- but not so much all around.

And I do have more to say, I just kind of got sidetracked and now realize I have class in seven minutes. Got to run...sprint, actually, 'cause I was late yesterday...oops. Got to stop typing first, though...

"And he dreams of another world, in another time and another place..." -TransSiberian Orchestra

Just a few photos I've taken... the first three are from Florida. I took them while we were driving from the Clearwater airport to Venice. Minor editing on iPhoto. Obviously, there is more than just a little 'minor' editing at work here...

I kept trying to get a decent picture of the trees- I'd never seen palm trees in person before, and they were awesome. All spiny and frondy and GREEN! Completely unlike Iowa right now. This one turned out blurry...I was really disappointed, but I added an antique effect and a matte/blur effect, so it's pretty okay.

I loved the sun shining on the water.

This one was with PhotoBooth on my MacBook. I was writing a paper about the Utopian nature of the Amana Colonies. (Everytime I type Amana, I always want to type Amanda, cause that's my name...just saying.) Anyway, this picture makes me look studious (I think so, anyway).
I really like this one. Also from my MacBook. I had some others, but I believe I deleted them by mistake.

That's all I've got. And I just remembered I have a lab prac tomorrow for my bio lab, so I suppose I should go review a bit...merr.

New Beginnings

I don't have much time- I'm going over to the science building to review for my lab prac tomorrow. We're dissecting pigs right now. It's so awesome. Our pig was so...cute. He was all little and pink and his little tongue.... His tail wasn't exactly a corkscrew, but I guess I wasn't TOO bummed about that... We've done the shoulder/arm muscles, the brain and the spinal cord so far. I love the way my instructor runs the lab because we look at enlarged models and microscope slides of whatever it may be that we are dissecting. Maybe they always do that...I just never have before.

I'm very fascinated by the brain and spinal cord and brain stem...all of it. I am really interested in nerves and all that neuroscience stuff- I hope to go into research medicine after school. I want to study MS.

But therein lies part of my problem (for the future, I have enough to deal with right now without it...), because I want to go into journalism. News media is more what it is right now though. I know I can always do health journalism. I need to do a little more research on that line of work though. Any ideas of resources for that?

In my j-workshop today we had four of the Gazette staff come in and discuss the future of the news. It was really great to receive firsthand opinions after reading about everything on the internet- it seems so much more tangible.

I've also been trying to get the hang of Twitter. I got it a while ago and kind of let it slip by the wayside. But now I'm working on building it up. Everything about media is so interesting to me. I just feel like I am too busy-too much of the time to make much headway. I guess if I divided the time I spend Facebooking among all of my obligations I wouldn't be cramped quite as much.

So after I go review my piggy, I have French. I still have to finish the reading for that actually, but I think I can probably complete it in the time it takes to mosey from the science hall over to the language department. After French...swim practice. Joy. (I say that with a mixture of sarcasm and true anticipation) There are ten days left. Seven are practice. One is off. Three days of competition. Then it's over.

-Actually...jk...heh heh. Because I am going to nationals with the tri team in April. The 23rd-ish I believe? So training starts for that. But I am super excited. It's in Texas, where I've never been. And I have a WETSUIT! It's awesome...I look like a superhero in it. (My mom says I look like a mermaid?...and a nerd...).

Wandering Meandering Moseying on Out

I finished another scarf last week. I am absolutely thrilled with it- it is red with a basket weave pattern. Except it doesn't match my red wool coat, so I kind of had to smuggle my mom's black wool coat back to school...but she doesn't ever wear it, so it's ok, right?

I am working on another scarf. I am excited about this one too! (surprise...it doesn't take much) It is a double layer made with three different skeins of yarn- two shades of purple and one white- alternating colors every row. This one will have a fringe, which I've never done before, so that rocks too!

Well, it's midnight- and I do believe I have far too much energy. Nuts. 'Specially 'cause I've got a swim meet tomorrow.

That's it...going to catch a few winks.