29 October 2010

Excuse the melodrama. For once in my life, I just want to be able to lean on somebody. To cry when something happens and just be held. I am always the strong one, the happy one. I like being happy. But it's unfair to just expect me to forget my own struggles to carry those of another.

And so, the tears fall silently. I choke back the sobs with a shudder. I pretend the sniffles are due to the weather.

Funny how a single day can start so long ago, and be... and be just... lovely. And then, you do something just a moment too long. A moment. That's all it takes. All it takes to send a small crack sliding through your life. To see something that would have kept til tomorrow just as well. Or over the weekend. Even better.

I think I need to go home. I need my mommy. And my dad. And to crack a few jokes with my brothers. Because I like being happy.

Happiness is:

cinnamon-sugary warmth.

wearing boots and a scarf on the first blustery cold, cloudy gray day.

I made peach cobbler from scratch without using a recipe. YAY ME. I've been craving cinnamon-sugar-something all week, and tonight, I could not resist the temptation.

"Recipe"

-A little flour, a little sugar, salt, cinnamon, crisco, water for the crust.

-Spread in a dish and bake at 350 until just before the edges start to get too brown.

-While that happens, open a can of peaches. Mix in cinnamon and flour. Cook in saucepan to thicken the syrup.

-Pull out crust layer, put peaches on top. Keep some of the syrup. Return to oven.

-Mix flour, sugar, salt, cinnamon, crisco, oatmeal for topping. Add the delicious, gooey peach syrup and make a tasty paste. Crumble over the other two layers.

-Bake until topping is crunchy, or until it smells so good you cannot help but take it out of the oven and dig in.

-Cooling time- absolutely not. This stuff is worth the sacrificial offering of a couple tastebuds.

Curse You Wild Cherry Pepsi!

1. Reference above statement.

2. If the meaning seems unclear, proceed to the following, mindless-middle-of-the-night rant:

Yep. That seems to be a proper sum-up. Not only is it daylight savings- meaning I lose an hour of sleep anyway, but the caffeine in that Pepsi is preventing me from completing a satisfactory night of slumber. Nevermind that I consciously pulled five quarters from my money jar and walked down the hall to the pop machine- Inconsequential details- that's all that is! As a result, I was on the receiving end of some very unhappy-woe-is-me news on Facebook.

wait. I partially retract my above statement. Now, I would like to attribute 50% of that curse elsewhere:

Curse you Facebook!

okay. better. I knew I should've given it up for Lent. I mean, I tried! I really did! But then, I forgot my cheese in a friend's room (sometimes I crave a block of cheese and go buy some from the pub...), and so, OF COURSE I had to write on her wall instead of merely sending her a text... of course.

and you know what?! I don't even like Pepsi! I much prefer Coca-Cola, but my college only has Pepsi. hmmph.